Tonic Disease Strikes close to home, Clash of the Titans?, and thoughts about Viagra

Well, My fellow Peeps, you know it had to happen...Tonic Disease in my own home. It occurred the night of my birthday party, and the person I hold nearest and dearest to my heart was stricken right before my eyes. Jerri, The Bold, The Beautiful, the Girl with the strength of a Thousand Popsicle sticks bound together with duck tape, the first one to rise and the last to fall, fell prey to this insidious disease. Both Doug and I watched as this Tall Beautiful Power House of a Woman reached for the Tonic bottle, picked it up, and unscrewed the cap. My Dear Peeps, I have seen many things in my day...Elephants on roller skates on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964, A Grown Man hit on 19 and hold on 2 playing Blackjack and lose everything while responding to the cocktail waitress's inquiry if another drink was required,replied, " Uhm..Yesh", I have seen a lovely Young woman who upon explaining what was done to her BMW said, "Ya know they did that thingy with the brakes, and had it up in the air and rotated those caterpillars, and , ya know did some stuff, and well, it looks really cool because you can see 'em through the wheels." Yes My Peeps I have seen many things! But nothing prepared me for Tonic Disease in my own home. The Attack of the disease was immediate and , well if not deadly...caused much discomfort. Doug and I both heard the W-H--o-s-e of the cap being turned, and saw the deadly spray engulf Jerri and stickiness is now a member of my household. I'm hoping that in my lifetime I see something in the order of the Fred Hutchinson's Cancer Research Center, applied to Tonic Disease...It would humble me to have a Mike Gorry Whatsa matter wid you? You Dumb Asshole!? Tonic Research Center up on Pill Hill in Seattle..but, I do dream don't I? Enough of that. While waiting for Doug to come home, I went out on the front porch, to smoke and ponder, and for some reason got to thinking about Viagra... A drug so expensive that it could cause a guy to choose..Do I wanna Get Laid or Eat? Peeps, No Man should be faced with such a question, because, well,...we kinda need both. I will share my feelings on this. I do take Viagra.. But only in the sense of the old FEDEX commercials.." When you absolutely, positively have to have it delivered"..Uhm, before I go any further, I think I'll wait to see if you, My Wonderful, Peeps, want me to continue about all this.......