Tonic Disease Strikes close to home, Clash of the Titans?, and thoughts about Viagra

Well, My fellow Peeps, you know it had to happen...Tonic Disease in my own home. It occurred the night of my birthday party, and the person I hold nearest and dearest to my heart was stricken right before my eyes. Jerri, The Bold, The Beautiful, the Girl with the strength of a Thousand Popsicle sticks bound together with duck tape, the first one to rise and the last to fall, fell prey to this insidious disease. Both Doug and I watched as this Tall Beautiful Power House of a Woman reached for the Tonic bottle, picked it up, and unscrewed the cap. My Dear Peeps, I have seen many things in my day...Elephants on roller skates on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964, A Grown Man hit on 19 and hold on 2 playing Blackjack and lose everything while responding to the cocktail waitress's inquiry if another drink was required,replied, " Uhm..Yesh", I have seen a lovely Young woman who upon explaining what was done to her BMW said, "Ya know they did that thingy with the brakes, and had it up in the air and rotated those caterpillars, and , ya know did some stuff, and well, it looks really cool because you can see 'em through the wheels." Yes My Peeps I have seen many things! But nothing prepared me for Tonic Disease in my own home. The Attack of the disease was immediate and , well if not deadly...caused much discomfort. Doug and I both heard the W-H--o-s-e of the cap being turned, and saw the deadly spray engulf Jerri and stickiness is now a member of my household. I'm hoping that in my lifetime I see something in the order of the Fred Hutchinson's Cancer Research Center, applied to Tonic Disease...It would humble me to have a Mike Gorry Whatsa matter wid you? You Dumb Asshole!? Tonic Research Center up on Pill Hill in Seattle..but, I do dream don't I? Enough of that. While waiting for Doug to come home, I went out on the front porch, to smoke and ponder, and for some reason got to thinking about Viagra... A drug so expensive that it could cause a guy to choose..Do I wanna Get Laid or Eat? Peeps, No Man should be faced with such a question, because, well,...we kinda need both. I will share my feelings on this. I do take Viagra.. But only in the sense of the old FEDEX commercials.." When you absolutely, positively have to have it delivered"..Uhm, before I go any further, I think I'll wait to see if you, My Wonderful, Peeps, want me to continue about all this.......

Tonic-A-Thons, Birthday's, and St Paddy's Day (all in that order..maybe)

Hello Again, My Dear Peeps, If you ever do this, and God help you if you decide to, you will find that you have more to tell about than time allows, you can't get life to stop long enough to plant yer fat ass in a chair to relay "S'up?" Let's say, a week goes by...and you're left with the mud of yesterday on your face, while you watch tomorrow pealing' out over the horizon and you just can't catch up..SumBitch! Ok, Let's get to it. Jerri and I we're at a pre-party Franki Birthday Dinner..I know what you're thinking, but it's cool because it's almost at it's end.."The annual 3 month celebration of the birth of The Franki", and I know 3 months is a long time, but it Only comes once a year,..so it's cool, and it was almost over. [OK side bar]- There are couples, and there are couples, Fred and Ginger, Kool and the Gang, Doug and Franki, Slip and slide, bread and butter, Jerri and Mike ( still working on this, but it looks promising) Tatters N Tots, and Mark and Jackie..it was the latter, as in Mark, that fed into the notion that there is a portion of this wonderful country of ours that needs help.[End sidebar] When I drank, which means, " Uhm, is that swimming pool all ya got?" I saw a problem...If you open a bottle of Tonic and don't do it "just right" it will explode..I often wonder how many a poor souls are walking around..lives shattered, half blind, sitting at the doors of the Tacoma Dome ( or If they have broader horizons, Safeco flield)..saying to friendly patrons.." The Bottle of Tonic was shook!..I didn't Know!..I can't see!!" It's all too touching. Mark, said, after seeing the plight of these "Lost sightless Souls" " I cannot live with this!!" And so the Tonic-A Thon was born...not out of drunkiness, No! but of true caring for our fellow man,..our fellow Buddy...Our" If you don't understand that this will shoot you in the eyes after the first time after shaking it up" Jesus Freakin Christ!...You need help! Alas, it's not only the eys that suffer, but there is a stickiness that is most like fly paper that effects the eyes and nose hairs causing one to...well, open one's eye's, or breath through one's nose..DUH...or get Help! If you're reading this, and by chance feel the suffacating spray of the tonic bottle,..know that there are dedicated, loving people that have drinks at the Black Angus Resturant, who Love you and...well...think, well, we love you But not so much,because we have our own shit to think about
..Stay away from Tonic..Let a Pro do it for you.Tonic 911

Accidentally In Love

OK it's my day off..and really off, Jerri is working and I have "stuff" I need to do or not depending. So, given my captain ship of the USS Mike where have I chosen to travel today?..Glad you asked. I woke up in love, nothing unusual about this lately, as I always do..that Jerri, seems to do this somehow. I kissed her goodbye, and looked across the vast "day off'"..which means, OK what can I do all by myself. So, here's what I have done up to this point. I watched music video's..gotta catch up to the kids, ya know? But I don't seem to be advancing too much in the way of getting hip ( but I did watch some Taylor Swift and Lady Ga-Ga, but they are female, so maybe not so much advancing on the music trail, but more like 'I like to look at chicks" and nothing new there.) I did some dishes, and while doing that, began to hear in my brains ear a Counting Crow's song from Shriek "Accidentally In love"...It's one of the Happiest love songs I've ever heard. I have a long time ago,.(.well, maybe not that long ago as we have just had our two year marker together) played this for Jerri, and she felt it was "cute". This I understand as she sees music as abbreviations..G'n'R, AD\DC, you know that sort of thing, But, it means allot to my soul, somehow. So, I go to Limewire and down load it, and listen a number of times( 7 in a row) and it makes me feel good..ready for the other "stuff" I'm going to do today. I jump in the shower, clean-up and pose in front of the mirror. I hate this. Jesus! Where did that dashing young fella go? Not to mention the legion of hairs that stood battle against the wind and sun and Modesty? I dwell not long on the sad picture facing me and choose to jump in my trusty ( but Gay ) Forester and go to River Road to cop a couple of cartons of smokes for my Lady and I. We get these from the "Indians" or Native Americans, if you will, but whatever you call 'em they have the cheapest smokes around, and as they hand you the carton, I can see it in their eyes...the eyes say," Fuck You, White Devil! smoke these 'til you explode with Cancer, while I spend time in my casino, sailing my dreamliner..pay back's a bitch?..No?" Well, that's what I see anyway. But I gladly accept the discount. I swing by the Puyallup Station and gave, my Love, a pack of smokes..who says chivalry is dead?..and proceeded to buy dinner at the Safeway. I get home and do something I swore I would never do..I watched Robocop 3.. May God help me and prevent me from tearing out my eyes..I saw it ...I watched it...it's in my brain! And just when I thought I saw the very end of everything...., All things good!..all things cool!,..my life!,...my Mortgage?...I heard these words from the download I earlier made from limewire.." Come on,come on..spin a little tighter, Come on, come on, and the worlds a little brighter, Come on, come on, get yourself inside her, Love, I'm in love..Accidentally in Love.. Life just ain't too bad

Aw Come on..I know, I know, I haven't been here for awhile

Is that a Pissyface I see? I'm sorry, really, but remember, "There ain't no Pissyface in Blogball" So get over the fact that I haven't been here to tell you about my Fabulous Life, because you know how it is...Life, Fabulous or not, has a way of getting in the way of stuff..OK? Are we cool? Really? Thanks, I promise I'll try and do better, really, really. So....where was I? Jenny had a Birthday ( it's today actually) and we all wanted to do something "special" to mark the occasion so Jerri, Franki, Doug, me, and the kids all got together to see if we could pull this " special" thing off....and well, we couldn't get this "special" thing done in time so we are shooting for next weekend. I want you to understand I keep using the term "special" not because I'm a Jack-Knob" ( though there is always debate about that), but I'm trying to keep a secret, which it looks as though I'm not too good at because if I were good at it I would not have even mentioned it at all...'OK I am a Jack-Knob. So enough about that. We decided , in the mean time, because of the lack of that "special" thing I'm not talking about, to travel over to Ocean City for a real-live Birthday visit and buy some Dinner for Jenny and Ray. The plan was to go in two cars. A quick word about the Clemons Girls,.. they are the nicest, sweetest girls you'd ever want to meet, but somewhere in that gene pool, which they share, when one is following the other in a motor vehicle, you ARE participating in the Indy 500. When Franki is the pace car and Jerri is the chase, some kind of NASCAR hormone kicks in and well, let me put it this way,...I'm totally blown away at what great time you can make to Ocean City when your minimum speed is 90 mph..I mean, who needs NASCAR in HDTV when you can have it right outside your windshield? Who needs those profiles of Drivers?..I live with one..I know everything I need to know! Who needs to wonder if their medical insurance is payed up? Maybe Me? But, hell, it makes for an interesting and shorter trip so who am I to complain? On a strech of road where you must slow down to 50( Jerri says 50 is only a suggestion) the passing blur cleared enough to make out some detail of what we were going by and I saw a sign that said " FOR SALE-LOG FURNITURE" And I thought, "What a freakin' great idea!"..what you Ladies don't know, is that these logs, us men carry around all day, can be pretty tiring and I often wished I had someplace to rest my Log at the end of a long hard day,...something nice like a loveseat or ottoman, what a swell idea this was! I voiced this to Jerri who looked at me and said, " For someone as old as you, you sure are stupid". I took this as a" no we won't be stopping for Log Furniture" and though disappointed I was determined to put this behind me and make the day a special one. That's it for now..but there is more to tell, including a story about a Turd SO big a man had to beat it with a stick! An Irish resturant that served Scottish Food!! And a Rest Stop that had a guy in a booth giving coffe away for Free!! Even Hot Chocolate!!!! OMG!! Stay Tuned.

MLK Day

Martin Luther King, I didn't know him very well but I sure enjoy the holiday!..Thanks Man! So, we had the day off and decided to meet at Franki and Dougs place ( We, being Jerri, "The Parents"-Ray and Jenny, Franki, Doug..I guess that's no suprise since they tend to live there, and me) and then go on to this Irish Sports Bar( McDonovan's..uhm, McDoogles, McAncheese...I mean it WAS last night so how am I supposed to remember, ya know?) to meet up with Jacki and Mark. Oh, just a quick note about Jacki,..I assume she too is a fan of the barter system, like I am, and maybe, that's why she'll trade you a condom( Black) for a menthol premium blend cigarette...different? Yes,... but effective to be sure....She gets the nicotine she needs, and I get something to put over my member in case of a blackout, you know like they had in England during WW II...Don't want the enemy bombers to able to pin point that hospital just because I have "My Goods" out! In fact I truly believe all men should carry black condoms as part of the National Security Act....just to prevent this kind of tragedy. But that's just me. Well Done, Jacki!! Anyroad, we had dinner and the Boy's ( Mark and Doug) and the girl (Jenny) went off to play poker..and they came back in this order. Cool Hand Doug, Mark ( who has the skills of Dustin Hoffman in that movie with Tom(( I'm a crazy Pussy, even though I was in Top Gun)) Cruise, but couldn't get the best of the strange minds of the people he was playing against) and then Jenny...the Quiet One, ( maybe not always). She made it to the BIG rollers table, when she felt that in her heart that she couldn't seperate this "Odd" group of their hard earned dollars, and, well, bowed out...for the good of mankind...or at least this group, anyway. Well Done Jenny!! And Well Done is how these woman prefer their meat! More on that and MLK Day Later.

One small step for Bloggin'

So here I am poised to put my freshly pedicured toe into the vast pool of unknown blogging... I wonder where the ripples will go? Well, to honest it's been at least a year and a half since I had a Pedi, so the freshly part is not quite true, and I have been told that I have "ugly" feet( but really, the only people who say "feet can be pretty" are owners of what they feel are pretty feet, and they live in the Dark Pit of denial) so I doubt I would be putting my toe in any kind of pool, let alone a pool of Blog. But regardless, here I am. My plan is to keep you up to date on what's going on with me and my Families..of which I currently have two. My girlfriend Jerri's and my own...What gets written here will most likely concern these folks, which gets me to thinking, maybe I should ask them if they want to be "Involved" in this. I personally don't see anything wrong with being identified as being held upside down to catch a cool refreshing beer bong hit, or going "Postal" on an innocent young lad just because he was screwin' around and hit your Lexus....But that's just me. I had better give this some thought. Anyway, welcome as we begin to see where the ripples lead us.