Semi-Regular..that's me

Another day another disappointment..I just heard this morning that the Royal Wedding Guest List was passed on to the media..and I'm not invited..well, neither are you so don't look so smug...K? But it just reminds me off all the things I've never been invited to on my path down Life's Highway. A Brisk..not like the lemon tea, but the Jewish ceremony. Hey look! I have some experience with this. I'm not "officially Jewish" but I grew up in Forest Hills New York( and circumcision is like the first thing I remember...., well, not really I remember the Breast..but My Mum said she didn't breast feed us ..so I guess I'm ..jesus! that's another blog for another time...gasp)
), and all of my first encounters with females were of the Jewish persuasion, and I know from that...these are some serious people. I once decided to become a Jew because I was in love with Sheila Burnstein. Her Mom, Mrs Burnstein..(I don't know what her first name was 'cause she scared the shit outta me, and besides I was 16 and she was...ancient, so why would I know such things?)said if I really, truly love Sheila, I would become a Jew! So! In my Irish Catholic Brain I said..."Uhm,...OK,..Cool" Now to make a long story short..I told my Dad( Hey Dad! How 'bout those fuckin' Mets? Uhm, like' I got this Jew thing goin' on, and like I'm gonna see a Rabbi, because there's this Girl?..you know Sheila who I really ,uhm, I dig ya know? And her Mom say's I gotta be a Jew to, uhm,..like I dunno..but I really like her...) and for the first time in my life he said He might "Kill Me"...and if this "Notion" ever got back to "Mum" it would truly become a reality( The death part)..and "Where would your body like to lie?" Anyway, I went to see the Rabbi, and he said if I were serious, about the changing to Jewish Thing, I would cut my hair first thing..before the changing of religion and stuff. Now I'm like in a freakin' Band "The Stormers" and have grown my Beautiful , beautiful Beatle Locks.This was a battle unto itself with my Father..My Beautiful long hair is how I met the Lovely Sheila..I was in a Band, With Long Hair! Fuck that!..So..I latter found out that Sheila was dating some Navy Dude and would have dropped me anyway..Newly Jewish or not, but that leads me back to my question, I never have been invited to a Brisk ( not the Ice Tea).. I just think as someone whose lost "IT" before, and understand the consequences of the circumcision I can address the Artistic merits of a steady Hand..and Long Hair.. and not being Irish Catholic,,,but not in that order.

Memory...

Let's clear this up right now. I was thinking about Memory, the kind of thing both you and I have, and NOT "Memories", that song from the Broadway show "Cats", which, by the way, I did see at the Wintergarden in NYC some time back. I think I caught it in it's 1000th performance and people were going into convulsions with praise for the very wonderfulness of it all. To be honest..I didn't get it. People in tights,acting like cats, caterwauling lame Andrew L. Webber tunes, left me with a feeling of,...well, like if you had a blindfold on and someone said they were going to feed you a nice spoonful of corn flakes, only to fill your anticipating mouth with used kitty litter...something in that order. It made me want to kill the cats I owned, and probably yours too, if I'd known you.But this thankfully passed, but I will always wonder,"Why the Fuck did I go to such a thing?" Now that, my Dear Peeps is a Memory and we all have them ( hopefully, if you have ever had the occasion to experience CATS! The Musical! yours is better than mine..if it is you must have been totally stoned). And you see how memories work? The insidious way they creep into what I was trying to write about and derail my train of thought? Damn It! I'll try this again...tomorrow...if I remember.

B'day Aftermath

Time to look back on "The Birthday"....One Year Older? Check! I've always felt a little uncomfortable with this birthday thing, as I'm totally taking some one else's word for all this "important" information. I really don't remember it very clearly. I mean, I've been told March 26,was the date I arrived on the scene but it could have been October for all I know, it's all kind of hazy. And the year? I'm thinking there's a 3 year window of opportunity, where I just don't have a clue and where anyone could have said just about anything and It works for me. Say, 1949 to 1952. Now due to the fact that I'm SO much older than the Love of My Life, The Beautiful Miss Jerri, and seeing this as a chance to close the gap I have decided that 1952 works better for me...so, I just had my 59th birthday! Wow! Next year when I turn 60 I know I'll just be freakin' out about getting old! But, no need to fret about that troubling thought right now! Hmmmm, I was just thinking,...1952 was the year My Sister Debi was born. No problem... I hereby declare us Twins! Works for me...everyone says we look alike.

Tomorrow is My "Special Day!"

So I was driving into work today and I thought "Jesus H. Busciuts and Gravy! I'm almost another year older!" The notion I'm working under is that we have a finite amount of birthdays we are handed us and I was about to use another one up. I remember when I was in first grade and just beginning to feel out this notion of time and lifespan and how it all pertained to me in the Grand Scheme of things when Mrs. Cornblew ( no shit, that was her name..it's no wonder she taught first graders), went around the classroom and told each of us how old we would be in the year 2000. This was 1955 and I was to be 51 in the new millennium she told me. I recall thinking," Fifty Fuckin' One!?!"( well, maybe not in those exact words),"I'll never live that long! That is SO far away I can't even begin to comprehend what this woman in front of the class is talkin' about!" I remember feeling that it was so distant, like one of those stars who's light takes a million, bazillion years to travel the universe and reach earth, this was just something to,...well,..not worry about, and put this information someplace way back in my brain as to not be concerned with, because it really would never happen. But, and isn't there always a but, it has happened. And here I am on the eve of crossing the 62nd birthday..Sum Bitch! People say, "I didn't think you were that old", and I certainly don't feel that old, but...it is what it is. But you know, I'm really happy and I guess if you can honestly say that as each birthday goes by, age really doesn't matter.

A day Later....

Well, here's the deal...I had to set up a new password and username in order to, once again, have the good graces of the Blog Gods shine upon me, allowing Yours Truly, to gently caress you on a semi-regular basis,My Dear Friend, with the splendor that is my mind. Uh,.. scratch splendor and please substitute Garbage...Thank You. So...all systems are Go, we have a green light, the checkered flag has fallen, the thumbs up given, it's full steam ahead as we travel down the Yellow Blog Road...you and I,...together,...forever.....well, maybe,.. let's see how this goes first before we make that kind of commitment..K?

Just short of a Year...lost in Life

Hey, so I thought I would post something since it's been, uhm, how you say?..a shitload of time. Once you get this urge and decide to go with it, you are then faced with tasks that require aging brain cells to cooperate in order to push forward with this quaint notion of continuing with " The Blog". Like what? Well, like what is your user name for example. I sat here and just stared and thought, and wondered. Username? It's been a long, long time since I was into the drug using thing, and for the life of me, I didn't really think I had a special name back then,...when I was using that is. I have been called many things at many different times in my life but I don't feel using caused any of them,..I mean,"Asswipe?" I still get that, so username?..not so much. I decided to try and leap the next obstacle ahead in posting to The Blog and deal with this one later. Password...Password? Jeez'N'Peeks, How on earth can I possibly remember what that might be? I get up in the morning and don't remember who I am until I stagger into the bathroom and look in the mirror, and even then my identification is somewhat foggy, to me at least. Jerri sometimes says to me upon waking," Uh, Honey, it's time to get up." And I think, "Hmmm, My name is Honey,..kinda catchy, and sweet, not a bad name to have." And so it goes....and I'm supposed to recall a password I haven't used in just short of 365 days?!? I need to think this out a little more before I can post this...I'll let you know how it goes.

Tonic Disease Strikes close to home, Clash of the Titans?, and thoughts about Viagra

Well, My fellow Peeps, you know it had to happen...Tonic Disease in my own home. It occurred the night of my birthday party, and the person I hold nearest and dearest to my heart was stricken right before my eyes. Jerri, The Bold, The Beautiful, the Girl with the strength of a Thousand Popsicle sticks bound together with duck tape, the first one to rise and the last to fall, fell prey to this insidious disease. Both Doug and I watched as this Tall Beautiful Power House of a Woman reached for the Tonic bottle, picked it up, and unscrewed the cap. My Dear Peeps, I have seen many things in my day...Elephants on roller skates on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964, A Grown Man hit on 19 and hold on 2 playing Blackjack and lose everything while responding to the cocktail waitress's inquiry if another drink was required,replied, " Uhm..Yesh", I have seen a lovely Young woman who upon explaining what was done to her BMW said, "Ya know they did that thingy with the brakes, and had it up in the air and rotated those caterpillars, and , ya know did some stuff, and well, it looks really cool because you can see 'em through the wheels." Yes My Peeps I have seen many things! But nothing prepared me for Tonic Disease in my own home. The Attack of the disease was immediate and , well if not deadly...caused much discomfort. Doug and I both heard the W-H--o-s-e of the cap being turned, and saw the deadly spray engulf Jerri and stickiness is now a member of my household. I'm hoping that in my lifetime I see something in the order of the Fred Hutchinson's Cancer Research Center, applied to Tonic Disease...It would humble me to have a Mike Gorry Whatsa matter wid you? You Dumb Asshole!? Tonic Research Center up on Pill Hill in Seattle..but, I do dream don't I? Enough of that. While waiting for Doug to come home, I went out on the front porch, to smoke and ponder, and for some reason got to thinking about Viagra... A drug so expensive that it could cause a guy to choose..Do I wanna Get Laid or Eat? Peeps, No Man should be faced with such a question, because, well,...we kinda need both. I will share my feelings on this. I do take Viagra.. But only in the sense of the old FEDEX commercials.." When you absolutely, positively have to have it delivered"..Uhm, before I go any further, I think I'll wait to see if you, My Wonderful, Peeps, want me to continue about all this.......